Beyond ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’: Teaching Respect in Everyday Moments

Many parents have experienced a moment like this:

“Say thank you.”

“I did.”

“You need to look at the person when you say it.”

“Mum, nobody does that anymore.”

For many young people today, manners can feel like something from another time. In a world of group chats, emojis, and voice notes, traditional politeness: holding the door, waiting your turn to speak, saying “please” properly, can seem unnecessary or even old-fashioned.

But manners have never really been about formal rules or table etiquette.

At their core, manners are simply the everyday expression of respect.

Research in social psychology shows that small behaviours such as expressing gratitude, listening attentively, and acknowledging others strengthen relationships and build trust within communities (Goleman, 1995). These skills also form part of what educators call emotional intelligence - a key factor in both personal and professional success.

In other words, manners are not outdated at all.

They are social skills that help people live and work well together.

The challenge today is helping young people understand why manners matter, rather than simply telling them what they must do.

Family conversations can help children reflect on how their behaviour affects others and recognise that politeness is not about formality—it is about consideration.

Conversation Starters

You might try asking your child:

Which manners do you think are outdated? Why?

Which ones do you think still matter today?

How does it feel when someone interrupts you while you're speaking?

Is it polite to look at your phone while someone is talking to you?

Are manners different online than they are in person?

These questions often lead to interesting reflections, particularly when children realise that many of the behaviours they value—respecting personal boundaries, being inclusive, acknowledging others’ ideas—are simply modern forms of good manners.

A simple activity for the week:

The “Small Courtesy” Challenge

Each family member chooses one small act of courtesy to practise intentionally during the week. For example:

Greeting people properly

Saying thank you and meaning it

Listening without interrupting

Putting phones away during conversations

Holding the door or helping someone without being asked

At the end of the week, ask:

Did you notice a difference in how people responded?

Did the action feel natural or forced?

Which small behaviours made the biggest difference?

Often, children discover that these small gestures create a more positive atmosphere around them.

Why This Matters

A Note from St George International School and Preschool

At St George International School and Preschool, we believe that academic success goes hand in hand with character development.

Values such as Respect, Responsibility, Honesty, Initiative, Mutual Support and Tolerance are not abstract ideas, they are lived daily through the way our students interact with teachers, peers, and the wider community.

Manners are one of the simplest ways these values become visible in everyday life.

A thoughtful greeting, listening carefully to someone’s opinion, thanking a classmate for help, or showing patience during a difficult moment may seem small, but together they shape the kind of community we all want our children to grow up in.

And sometimes, the most meaningful conversations about these habits begin not in a classroom, but around the dinner table.

- Article: Alex Petraru

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Beyond ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’: Teaching Respect in Everyday Moments

Beyond ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’: Teaching Respect in Everyday Moments

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